Tag: transgender

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A Penny for Your Oppression

Mr. Gender

I started my transition four years ago. There has been much joy on this journey so far. There have also been important lessons, some of which I want to share with you in this post. I have received offers from various groups, organizations, and institutions to weigh in on identifying or creating helpful resources about various issues that are important to trans people or even helping to shape policies. I acknowledge that these are offers I am getting due to my proximity to whiteness, masculinity, and wealth. Which is to say that many people are not being invited to these … Continue reading A Penny for Your Oppression

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Not what it seems

Mr. Gender

Content warning: this post mentions suicide and family rejection I love change. It brings opportunity and rekindled novelty. But… I struggle enormously with anticipation. Once I know a change is coming, it can’t come soon enough. Which is perhaps why each time I have come out, I have done so with tremendous speed. For example, I told my mother the same day I realized I was attracted to women, and my father within the first couple weeks.  A few more weeks passed and we were heading to rural Wisconsin to see my mother’s parents and siblings. During this trip I … Continue reading Not what it seems

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And yet…

Mr. Gender

It’s been 25 months since my first T shot. When I look in the mirror I see only the man I’ve always been. And yet… I walk up to the register. The sales person comes around the corner and without hesitation, “Do you have a rewards card miss?” I respond immediately in an effort to erase what has just occurred. At the lowest register of my voice I say “No” to the question and the situation in general. No recognition of her error registers in her eyes. I ask myself, “Is there any possibility I misheard?” I review words that … Continue reading And yet…

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I thought maybe you were a swimmer

Mr. Gender

I wanted short hair for as long as I can remember. Afraid of ridicule my mother resisted because I would look like a boy and, my ears stick out so people would make fun of me. In 2020, and especially to those of you reading this, perhaps that sounds judgmental and dis-empowering. It was, but it happened within a different context. In the early 90’s people were men, women or men in dresses – freaks of the night. For what it is worth, people made fun of me anyway. Starting late in high school, well after my breasts ruined the … Continue reading I thought maybe you were a swimmer

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Two Mostly Unrelated Stories

Mr. Gender

Late spring 2011. I pull into our driveway. I am, like everyday, the first person home. Something is different. Several somethings. Why is there water pouring down the driveway? My eyes follow upstream, the water is flowing from the spigot. Why would that be on? I hear a soft meow. My eyes follow the sound to the window above. It is…overly transparent. Windows are often transparent yes, but, it is so very clear. I realize the subtle obstruction from the mesh window screen is missing. In fact, so is the glass. My cat, Ella, is comfortably perched in the window … Continue reading Two Mostly Unrelated Stories

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The colleague formerly known as…

Mr. Gender

When I am offered this job, it is 2012 and I am a few days shy of my 28th birthday. As acquaintances learn of my new gig I receive many congratulations on landing a job I can “retire from.” It is such a horrifying thought I almost don’t accept the offer. I value longevity. I am a long term commitment kind of guy but staying in a job from 28 to whatever retirement age is when I get there…I can’t fathom it. I certainly can’t understand why people are so excited about this as a prospect for me. I come … Continue reading The colleague formerly known as…

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A case for acceptance

Mr. Gender

Recently a local Facebook page posted a poorly written and sourced article with the intention of showing support for Transgender Awareness week. I was surprised at the vitriol that ensued toward both the acknowledgement of the existence of transfolks and the idea of raising awareness of trans issues. There seemed to be a common consensus among many of the people posting that being trans is a symptom of mental illness. I appreciate the folks who posted in support of trans people, to affirm the value we bring to society. Reading the hateful statements had a major impact on me. I … Continue reading A case for acceptance