I think many people who know my spouse and I as a couple have questions. They are mostly questions for her and tend to center on, “So, are you still gay or what? How can you stay together? I could never stay with my spouse if they ‘changed genders.'” Continue reading Why are you such a lucky bastard?
It’s been 25 months since my first T shot. When I look in the mirror I see only the man I’ve always been. And yet… I walk up to the register. The sales person comes around the corner and without hesitation, “Do you have a rewards card miss?” I respond immediately in an effort to erase what has just occurred. At the lowest register of my voice I say “No” to the question and the situation in general. No recognition of her error registers in her eyes. I ask myself, “Is there any possibility I misheard?” I review words that … Continue reading And yet…
On December 27, 2018 I did my first testosterone injection. I had fears and expectations about what transitioning might mean for my life. Here is a brief reflection on the eve of my second Maniversary. Continue reading Maniversary 2020
I have spent the weekend completing projects, eating terrible food, painting mediocre paintings and lovely, intriguing paintings, and thinking and feeling, avoiding and embracing. All of this is part of an approximately annual event where I have the house entirely to myself and I use the time to accomplish an extraordinary amount and usually high quality products. But I also use this time to stop pretending. I value authenticity, perhaps above all. That commitment to authenticity requires a high level of avoidance because the feelings I feel are intense and thorough. I have found that people have a low tolerance … Continue reading Learn lesson, rinse, repeat
Late spring 2011. I pull into our driveway. I am, like everyday, the first person home. Something is different. Several somethings. Why is there water pouring down the driveway? My eyes follow upstream, the water is flowing from the spigot. Why would that be on? I hear a soft meow. My eyes follow the sound to the window above. It is…overly transparent. Windows are often transparent yes, but, it is so very clear. I realize the subtle obstruction from the mesh window screen is missing. In fact, so is the glass. My cat, Ella, is comfortably perched in the window … Continue reading Two Mostly Unrelated Stories
Recently a local Facebook page posted a poorly written and sourced article with the intention of showing support for Transgender Awareness week. I was surprised at the vitriol that ensued toward both the acknowledgement of the existence of transfolks and the idea of raising awareness of trans issues. There seemed to be a common consensus among many of the people posting that being trans is a symptom of mental illness. I appreciate the folks who posted in support of trans people, to affirm the value we bring to society. Reading the hateful statements had a major impact on me. I … Continue reading A case for acceptance
I stop wanting to ever go back to my apartment. We spend time apart because it seems like something we should do or because it is something we have to do. But we aren’t that into it. It isn’t as fun as being together. It seems a bit like a waste of time. I am approaching 30. Anji is twelve years older than I am. We feel a bit short changed for not finding each other sooner and incredibly fortunate to have done so at all. There is no one I can think of who will say, “Four months of … Continue reading A love story – Part 5
It’s early December 2018. There is so much to do. So much to figure out. I am desperate to check all the perceived boxes but everything takes time. And time is the one thing I feel I have missed so much of. minutes fall away like gravity pulling water from a faucet a simple consequence of time the result of ill-fit riddle comes to me in pieces strewn across the floor am I enough to put it together? I am not certain anymore I’ve got a secret so long kept I didn’t know, couldn’t see it push it away Continue reading Gravity
A tool for talking about gender identity with young children. I am in love with this story by Jessica Walton. I recommend it to anyone with a young child. Or anyone who needs to give their inner child a new narrative about having permission to be yourself. The book tells of the friendship between Errol and his teddy bear. They do many fun things together but Errol notices that Thomas seems sad. His bear shares with Errol that they wish their name was Tilly, not Thomas. Errol affirms that what really matters is that they are friends and thanks them … Continue reading Introducing Teddy
That's Mr. Gender to You 