Category: Journey

Love Story5 Comments

A love story – Part 1

Mr. Gender

When I was 23 I applied for a job managing a few million dollars in rental assistance for people with disabilities who were also experiencing homelessness at entry. I don’t know if I was qualified – per se – I mean, in retrospect that seems like a lot of money to let a 23 year old manage but…it turned out I was pretty good at it. Part of my job was to run a monthly meeting with other non-profits who were providing services to the people in housing. It was pretty intimidating as many of the folks in the room … Continue reading A love story – Part 1

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Telling the eldest or Rocket League wheels

Mr. Gender

My wife and I are well matched. She excels at spelling and identifying feelings, I am in charge of tasks requiring strong spacial relations and picking paint colors. She prefers to focus on keeping the inside of our home in order, I prefer to keep the outside of our house in order. My wife likes to make lists and while I definitely want to know what’s on deck, I avoid lists – I value efficiency and worry that a list might box me in – could result in an inability to innovate – stifle my creativity. We are complimentary to … Continue reading Telling the eldest or Rocket League wheels

Journey5 Comments

The Places You’ll Go

Mr. Gender

Middle school. A hub of adolescents endeavoring to establish their identity while not yet mature enough to see themselves as distinct from others. It is a delicate balance between isolating in complete uniqueness vs losing one’s self to the whims of peers. Our junior high is a two story brick building built in 1922. It smells of old damp stone and years of hormonal teenagers not yet committed to the new hygienic demands of their bodies. The building is nearing the end of it’s useful life and will be demolished within the decade. It is decided that following Thanksgiving break, … Continue reading The Places You’ll Go

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Reflections from Childhood

Mr. Gender

I am the baby of the family. The youngest of two children. I trail my brother by 3 years and 11 months allowing only enough space between us so as to not be sent home for annoying him. We are free to roam about the neighborhood as long as we don’t cross 5th street – the only road for miles with a double yellow line. But that’s fine – the candy shop is on this side of 5th anyway. The grocery store, elementary school and its playground are all in bounds. Our neighborhood was made up predominantly of boys, as … Continue reading Reflections from Childhood

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Waking up gay

Mr. Gender

It’s Spring 2003. My solo set has gone fabulously. An assortment of De Visee met with an unexpected standing ovation. I am preparing to take my advanced standing – which is insider lingo for “play music in front of professors to determine if I am good enough.” It seems to me that if someone who does not play a single instrument can learn a single song that I, player of many instruments, should be able to fix all that is wrong with my playing in the weeks between now and my advanced standing. I play in a duo with a … Continue reading Waking up gay

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Telling the youngest or ‘mama is just a girl’

Mr. Gender

Setting: He is four years old. It’s a Wednesday night and like any other night my youngest son and I are completing the bedtime routine. My wife joins us. I’m so nervous but the fierceness that has always been his love gives me hope. In many ways I found my courage to find myself in his unwavering love. I don’t have a plan. I’m not sure how I will tell him. Will I be able to answer his questions? Am I about to shatter his world? Will he even understand? But I just start talking… Me: Buddy, are you a … Continue reading Telling the youngest or ‘mama is just a girl’

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Telling Mom or ‘you may want to sit down’

Mr. Gender

Setting: It’s mid-December 2018. My mother and her husband are planning on coming for Christmas and while I am not quite ready I am also growing increasingly uncomfortable with my mother not knowing about this significant revelation though it is only six weeks old. I have always preferred an actual crisis over tolerating the anticipation of the possible. I consider waiting to talk to her in person but I am certain I can’t stand not binding for even a day and that if I do bind, she will want an explanation. She shares my preference to avoid anticipation. I knew … Continue reading Telling Mom or ‘you may want to sit down’