Author: Mr. Gender

Tales from TransitionLeave a comment

…I woke up without boobs

Mr. Gender

A couple of disclaimers: 1.) Whether because of the original size of my chest, being overweight or having nursed a child my reconstruction involved a significant amount of liposuction along my sternum. I assume that contributed to my pain level. I have heard guys say they had no pain with top surgery. That was not my experience. 2.) My insurance required this operation be conducted at a hospital rather than my doctor’s surgery center where she completes the vast majority of her operations. My surgeon’s staff were highly competent and very sensitive to the needs of trans/gender non-conforming patients. The … Continue reading …I woke up without boobs

Journey, Love StoryLeave a comment

A love story – Part 2

Mr. Gender

It’s 2010. I am living in an apartment that I can barely afford. My judgement is clouded by the abrupt end to my marriage. I have always had a strong moral compass, to the point of rigidity. But this time in my life, is not my best. I find myself doing things I shouldn’t be doing. I can’t bring myself to care. But I do recognize that Anji has her shit too together to get wrapped up in mine. Either later that night (the night of secret family recipe sausage – try to follow along) or the next morning I … Continue reading A love story – Part 2

Love Story5 Comments

A love story – Part 1

Mr. Gender

When I was 23 I applied for a job managing a few million dollars in rental assistance for people with disabilities who were also experiencing homelessness at entry. I don’t know if I was qualified – per se – I mean, in retrospect that seems like a lot of money to let a 23 year old manage but…it turned out I was pretty good at it. Part of my job was to run a monthly meeting with other non-profits who were providing services to the people in housing. It was pretty intimidating as many of the folks in the room … Continue reading A love story – Part 1

Tales from Transition1 Comment

…every cell in my body screamed ‘do not stab me’ so I started doing it weekly (video)

Mr. Gender

The wait between deciding that I probably wanted to pursue taking Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) and actually getting an appointment to discuss it felt like it took forever. It’s fun to look back on this video and note: how bloody excited I am; how high my voice is; how thin I am; how rested I look. Some trans/gender non-conforming folks choose to pursue HRT in order to develop the secondary sex characteristics that more closely align with their gender identity. Continue reading …every cell in my body screamed ‘do not stab me’ so I started doing it weekly (video)

Journey1 Comment

Telling the eldest or Rocket League wheels

Mr. Gender

My wife and I are well matched. She excels at spelling and identifying feelings, I am in charge of tasks requiring strong spacial relations and picking paint colors. She prefers to focus on keeping the inside of our home in order, I prefer to keep the outside of our house in order. My wife likes to make lists and while I definitely want to know what’s on deck, I avoid lists – I value efficiency and worry that a list might box me in – could result in an inability to innovate – stifle my creativity. We are complimentary to … Continue reading Telling the eldest or Rocket League wheels

Journey5 Comments

The Places You’ll Go

Mr. Gender

Middle school. A hub of adolescents endeavoring to establish their identity while not yet mature enough to see themselves as distinct from others. It is a delicate balance between isolating in complete uniqueness vs losing one’s self to the whims of peers. Our junior high is a two story brick building built in 1922. It smells of old damp stone and years of hormonal teenagers not yet committed to the new hygienic demands of their bodies. The building is nearing the end of it’s useful life and will be demolished within the decade. It is decided that following Thanksgiving break, … Continue reading The Places You’ll Go

JourneyLeave a comment

Reflections from Childhood

Mr. Gender

I am the baby of the family. The youngest of two children. I trail my brother by 3 years and 11 months allowing only enough space between us so as to not be sent home for annoying him. We are free to roam about the neighborhood as long as we don’t cross 5th street – the only road for miles with a double yellow line. But that’s fine – the candy shop is on this side of 5th anyway. The grocery store, elementary school and its playground are all in bounds. Our neighborhood was made up predominantly of boys, as … Continue reading Reflections from Childhood

Journey3 Comments

Waking up gay

Mr. Gender

It’s Spring 2003. My solo set has gone fabulously. An assortment of De Visee met with an unexpected standing ovation. I am preparing to take my advanced standing – which is insider lingo for “play music in front of professors to determine if I am good enough.” It seems to me that if someone who does not play a single instrument can learn a single song that I, player of many instruments, should be able to fix all that is wrong with my playing in the weeks between now and my advanced standing. I play in a duo with a … Continue reading Waking up gay

Tales from Transition3 Comments

…underwear changed my world view

Mr. Gender

October 2003 The first time I see a drag king I fall in love. Not with that person but with what their existence means. That sometimes, at least in limited circumstances, which seemingly have their own rules, a ‘girl’ can be a ‘boy.’ I have to know more. I am obsessed with facial hair and flat chests. Lucky for me my first drag king encounter is with an author on the subject. I read The Art of Drag Kinging cover to cover, taking notes. I create a drag persona who is nothing like me. I look in the mirror and … Continue reading …underwear changed my world view